hello

for as much as I want to continue friendly eating I have to call it quits. I have learned a lot from the community. i started this blog to reach out to others, and while i think i have, i've been having hard time finding inspiration for writing. in sincerity i hope that people will continue to follow the path that brings them happiness and to find gratitude in the biggest and smallest of ways.

if you would like to still read on my adventures please follow my new blog at:

thanks for the people who joined in on the discussion.

happy belated valentines

ian gave me the sweetest star wars valentine

happy belated valentines! i had a really good time. there was yummy food, cute valentines day cards, mustaches and time spent with good company.

organic italian parsley

spicy red pepper pesto

(serves 2-4)

1/2 cup walnuts

1 cup roasted red peppers, drained

1/2 cup fresh basil

1/4 cup parsley

1-2 cloves garlic

1 teaspoon red chili flakes

several pinches of black pepper

1/3 cup extra virgin olive oil

pinch of pink himalayan sea salt

start by processing the walnuts, red peppers, basil, garlic and parsley. Then add the spices and olive oil until well mixed. Good as a dip or over bite sized pasta. I used a gluten free rotini for last nights dinner. This recipe could totally be made raw, by using a whole fresh bell pepper.

candles

i don't normally celebrate to many holidays, but last night was fun. it was great to both cook and to un-cook, especially in the next recipe's case...

raw banana cacao pie

(serves 2)

cacao/ banana filling:

2 bananas

1 avocado

1 tablespoon extra virgin coconut oil

1 heaping tablespoon raw cacao powder

1 banana, sliced thinly

shredded raw coconut to garnish

pecan crust:

1/4 cup pecans

1/2 cup deglet noor dates, pitted

1 tablespoon extra virgin coconut oil

pinch of pink himalayan sea salt

this is quite a simple recipe to make. i used a regular old bowl for the mold of the pie. start by processing the 2 bananas, avocado, evco, and raw cacao powder until you have a thick and mousse like consistency. pour into a a bowl lined with parchment paper. along the top place the thinly slice bananas on top of the mixture. let this firm up in the freezer for about 1-2 hours. While the cacao banana filling is freezing, process the pecans, dates, evco and salt. It will be a crumble like texture. When the filling is firmed up place the crust on top of the bananas and firmly pack it in. Cover and freeze for another 2-3 hours. When ready to serve pull the parchment paper from the edges so the pie pops out, and place onto a plate. gently peel away the paper to reveal your delicious treat. I garnished the pie with raw shredded coconut.

sorry for all the iPhone pictures. I stepped on my digital camera and the screen is broken. I am going to replace it one of these days. anyways, off to yoga!

some fun

ice and snow

this weekend marks the end of my program that i've been attending the last month. it was an extension of the teacher training i completed last fall. the training was both fun and educational. i was able to gain more confidence, get feedback from my peers/mentors and receive new perspective on teaching yoga. all good things.

this winter, has been my best yet. although, i am not as active or inspired to cook as much i want, i'm very happy with what's going on in my life. working 40+ hours at whole foods, doing teacher training, and having a few classes to teach was difficult, and some days exhausting, but more fun then anything else. i'm glad that training is over so i can have more time to myself. to rededicate to my own yoga practice (that i've been neglecting, a little bit) and utilize my own kitchen instead of the salad bar at work.

these are a few things throughout this week that made me feel good:

fresh air and the snow melting away

getting two scoops of ice cream with good company

viparita karani (legs up the wall) on my breaks at work

spending time with ian

love and fear

bottle cap magnent

one thing that i am truly learning is how to accept things when they happen. good or bad. it's hard to listen to internal dialogue. i sometimes contemplate over how things could be better versus how things actually are. although i wont ever take a passive stance about things i believe in, i feel that sometimes it's necessary to sit back and allow certain things to happen and let them be. regardless if it's the way you pictured the outcome. because we really have no control of what the world brings us... we do have the power to adapt though.

i taught a yoga class this past weekend that wasn't my best. i was so hard on myself that i allowed my anxiety dictate my movement and speech. it was shortly after i taught my class i felt some of these emotions surface and said to myself "you really care about teaching, and you love it... that's why you feel like this." and with that, i accepted that not all of my classes will be great nor will they be perfect. the feeling instantly subsided and my fears diminished. although, i would like all my classes could go smoothly, thats just not how it is.

in that moment i realized that fear and love go hand in hand. feeling vulnerable is natural. but allowing ourselves to feel that way is what makes us human. thats what gives us the strength to connect and be part of life. what makes us reach out to the people we want to share our time with.

it's been snowing off and on

with that said, this past few weeks has brought me a lot of happiness. i have found i smile the most when i focus on what i have versus what i think i need. when i realize my own strength. it's so important to listen to yourself. stand up for what you believe in. learn from your situation. surround yourself with people who respect you. eat food that makes you feel good. find balance, accept your feelings and take responsibility of them.

depression and yoga

yoga has been part of my life for a few years now. off and on, but in the past year or so it's become a major part of my life. i don't want to say it defines who i am, but i am very passionate and inspired by the journey it unfolds for me. i practice various styles quite frequently and have completed a 200 hour teaching certification.

So, let's rewind to about a year ago... something happened to me, and i wasn't quite ready for it. i was turning 21, struggling with finding my place in this world and hit a complete dead end. or maybe that's what i thought happened. sadness comes from so many different sources and if you don't face it it manifests in your every day life. sometimes you don't even notice where it goes. things suffer, and most importantly you do.

i woke up every day uninspired. i didn't feel like communicating to many people and when i did, i found myself with a lack of things to say. i felt that i had no purpose or any direction. my depression was crippling me from the inside out. people that i loved were driving me crazy, and the things that i found happiness with i no longer participated in. i was sad, and i couldn't help it. i would have some good days, but i remember there being a time when just getting out of bed was monumental...

it was time for change. even though i was sad i knew that my life was worth it. because, i was worth it. i had the power to change. i was stronger then i thought i was. there was light (as tiny and as far away as it seemed) and i was going to reach for it.

the gears were turning. for me to feel good about what was in front of me i had to go deep down inside and confront what was troubling. i had to trust my intention, and not to second guess it. i had to release guilt that i was miserably holding on to. i had to find the strength that was locked away somewhere. i had to find peace in growing up. most importantly, i had to realize the past brought me to this place, but i have the power to choose where i'm going to go.

it's you who decides if you will fall into the pattern of the past. while that may be comfortable in some scenarios it's not generally the safest. at that moment i decided to live consciously and move in this world with a purpose. to feel, to live and to love.

and thats where yoga comes in. this practice has helped me tremendously. to be a better person. be a more patient person. cultivate self awareness and find compassion for myself. so i can be a more compassionate person to others. every time i step on the mat i learn something new about myself. whether it be physically or mentally i take something with me, so i can live my intention off the mat. it's that 60 minutes you give to yourself, to just stop the chatter and to release. what yoga has taught me is that for everything you shed, you gain something new.

i am a true believer that yoga comes to you when it needs to. you can take it or leave it, but this practice has made me overcome some of the toughest times in my life. and the times i have found myself the happiest, yoga was integrated somewhere in the mix. yoga came to me during that time of sadness. it gave me the strength to confront my fears. it gave me the support to feel good about myself. it gave me a community that cares about my growth. it gives to me everyday in ways i can't explain. and for me personally the ability to teach this practice i learn more then i ever have in my life. that means so much. to witness people find compassion in their lives is my purpose. that is why i want to teach yoga. i have a direction to follow. it may feel uncertain at times but it's something.

i don't think that happiness is the ultimate goal by any means, but finding contentment and gratitude have allowed my days to become so much brighter. to realize that being a good person and working hard counts. to express when you need to and reach out when you feel depleted. in our society, it seems like we find extremes to live with. we are either extremely depressed or extremely happy, but when it comes down to it, where is just being okay? why is it hard to just be okay? what is so scary about that? nothing really. that's where contentment is... where being able to work hard and appreciate your free time lives. where you find yourself: right in the middle, present and on the path where compassion will guide you.

"illuminated emancipation, freedom, unalloyed and untainted bliss await you, but you have to choose to embark on the inward journey to discover it."

- b.k.s. iyengar

pizza potluck

yukon gold potatoes and sun dried tomatoes

it was my birthday yesterday. i slept in till 10 am made a beautiful breakfast, played some ukulele and ventured through the snowy tuesday to take a hot yoga class. after that, i picked up some groceries with a really good friend and started getting prepared for my birthday potluck.

morning stirfry

(serves 2)

2 tablespoons extra virgin coconut oil

3-4 cloves garlic, minced

1 large carrot, chopped

1 large yukon gold potato, diced

4 crimini mushrooms, chopped

6-10 sun dried tomatos (soaked)

2 handfuls of spinach

1/4 teaspoon red chili flakes

1/2 tablespoon dried basil

1 teaspoon dried thyme

1/4 teaspoon pink himalayan sea salt

several pinches of black pepper

on medium heat warm coconut oil in large skillet or pan. saute the garlic alone for about 2 minutes and add potatoes. keep stirring potatoes until they become tender and golding on the edges. add sun dried tomatoes and then carrots. saute for another 5-7 minutes. add the rest of the ingredients and stir until the spinach wilts. serve!

daiya cheese pizzas

after hosting parties in the past this year i decided to be prepared. i stayed in for the larger part of the afternoon letting the dough rise, preparing the marinara sauce and getting out the table setting. i prepared a large pizza as well as pizza bites and let them sit in the fridge until my friends arrived so there would be fresh hot pizza right from the oven. and for another yummy and quick recipe to throw together:

chickpea date and walnut with mixed greens

(serves 4)

6-8 cups mixed greens

6 oz canned garbanzo beans

8 medjool dates, chopped

1/4 cup walnuts, chopped

black pepper to taste

sea salt to taste

balsamic vinegar (i used fig balsamic)

spring water with organic lemons

mary's gone crackers, local hummus and carrots, veggie booty and fstg chips

pretty soon the table was filled with food. these were some of the snacks. some of the pizzas that came last night were so beautiful and totally delicious. i tried every one. here are some of the pizzas that were on the table last night:

- sweet barbeque onion

- ice cream pizza with dandies marshmallows

- brownie crust with mangoes and blackberries with raspberry sauce

- chard and squash with chickpea sauce

as well as squash roasted with orange marmalade, pigs in a blanket and yummy cupcakes.

i didn't get to take very many pictures, but thats okay because i was thoroughly enjoying eating tons of amazing food and celebrating my birthday with very special people. i am extremely grateful to have friends that trekked below zero weather. I'm amazed that 30 people fit into my 400+ square foot studio apartment and adore them all. thanks guys you are awesome, one of my best birthdays yet.