2/07/2011

love and fear

bottle cap magnent

one thing that i am truly learning is how to accept things when they happen. good or bad. it's hard to listen to internal dialogue. i sometimes contemplate over how things could be better versus how things actually are. although i wont ever take a passive stance about things i believe in, i feel that sometimes it's necessary to sit back and allow certain things to happen and let them be. regardless if it's the way you pictured the outcome. because we really have no control of what the world brings us... we do have the power to adapt though.

i taught a yoga class this past weekend that wasn't my best. i was so hard on myself that i allowed my anxiety dictate my movement and speech. it was shortly after i taught my class i felt some of these emotions surface and said to myself "you really care about teaching, and you love it... that's why you feel like this." and with that, i accepted that not all of my classes will be great nor will they be perfect. the feeling instantly subsided and my fears diminished. although, i would like all my classes could go smoothly, thats just not how it is.

in that moment i realized that fear and love go hand in hand. feeling vulnerable is natural. but allowing ourselves to feel that way is what makes us human. thats what gives us the strength to connect and be part of life. what makes us reach out to the people we want to share our time with.

it's been snowing off and on

with that said, this past few weeks has brought me a lot of happiness. i have found i smile the most when i focus on what i have versus what i think i need. when i realize my own strength. it's so important to listen to yourself. stand up for what you believe in. learn from your situation. surround yourself with people who respect you. eat food that makes you feel good. find balance, accept your feelings and take responsibility of them.

4 comments:

  1. It can be difficult, but I try to accept that it is our task (and our privilege) to accept the outcome of today's honest efforts, to learn, and based on that learning to improve next time.

    It is your love of teaching that led to you feeling that way, but you will also have been communicating that love and care when you were teaching (albeit not to your standards).

    You taught me something recently which I value. You said "in sasangasana (rabbit) you get to look inside yourself and find what makes you feel vulnerable". This was a new idea for me and I have thought of it each time I've done rabbit since then. Last night in the second set I did the best rabbit I've done so far.

    So thank you :-)

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  2. @ ms. adventuress, you make me smile, really you do.
    @ cosmic, thanks i hope to see you around the blogosphere
    @ antony, privilege is right. i always forget how lucky i am do do the things i am able to do. but there is always a next time which is what makes life so fun. and i'm so happy to hear that you are taking something out of sasangasana. that pose is truly magnificent. so many benefits physically but also for yourself. so any time! =)

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