birthday weekend

drive to idaho springs

starting on thursday i took one week off of work. it's been really nice. i've got to clean my apartment, go on a few bike rides, make really delicious food and most importantly to relax.

kombucha botanica and a larabar

getting out of the city is nice even if its just for the afternoon. the car ride was beautiful. so many different colors on the mountains as we drove by. it's one of my favorite things to do in colorado. especially when you have music, snacks and good company. ☺

our destination was indian springs. about 40,000 gallons of natural hot mineral water is pumped into their pool. the pool is inside of a dome that houses tropical plants.

banana trees

green pool water

it was really crowded this weekend, but i still had a relaxing experience. in the dome it's extremely humid, and the water is kept above 100 degrees. my hands were like prunes and i was a little loopy from the heat, but i came out feeling refreshed.

pink clouds

the late afternoon drive home was peaceful. a weekend of being completely off of everything was much needed. my birthday is tomorrow and i'm going to have a pizza potluck. it's going to be delicious!

Janurary

my good friend leah playing her mandolin

that must've been the shortest hiatus, but i'm back . i was having a hard time comprehending things this week. i was making weird mistakes at work, my body was sore and i just wasn't feeling grounded enough. i had so many thoughts racing through my brain. i couldn't concentrate on anything in particular.

after i received some thoughtful perspective from people i love, a couple hot yoga classes (one with a blindfold on) and an afternoon in the park making music, i feel much better.

sometimes all it takes is one really satisfying meal and a beautiful day to get you back on track.

setting up mukta hasta sirsana

and yes, i'm wearing short shorts in the middle of the winter.

hiatus

hey guys, i have to take a break from friendly eating. i entered the blog world to share things i'm passionate about, also to connect with like minded individuals. although i enjoy blogging it has become a chore, or an outlet to waste an unnecessary amount of time. i don't want it to feel like that because i learn a lot from the community. anyways, i've hit a creative road block and have a lack of things to say. i will be back soon!

freedom

last wednesday, i rode my bike to work at six am. i had this great feeling inside of me as i traced a path in the thin layer of frost. not a single car was out that morning, just my bicycle and i cruising down clarkson. there wasn't any sound except my tires grazing the pavement and the street lights flickering above me. it was almost surreal, like a dream. the black sky, cold air biting my nose and silence to my destination. it was peaceful. thoughts that entered my mind disappeared with every rotation. i felt so free.

something personal

“The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”

- ralph waldo emerson

shifting into something a little more personal then food. i have had a lot of emotions piling up this past week and i feel like it's something people could relate to. so i felt it was necessary to share them. this is something i've been finding myself doing a lot. ego completely aside, just raw feelings and emotions.

in the past i have:

- looked in the mirror and didn't like what i saw

- been in dead end relationships

- fallen victim to people's bad intentions

- struggled with gender/ sexuality issues

- allowed my depression to cripple me

- felt powerless and weak

- had no confidence when something new was placed in front of me

right now i need to:

- focus inwards and release what no longer serves me

- fulfill the needs of people in my life without sacrificing my own

- live by example and stand firm in my beliefs

- embrace who i am and what nature gave me

- be grateful, inspired and compassionate

- find strength because it's there, and speak for the one's who cant

- be mindful that i'm still learning a lot about myself and my capabilities

although this is a healthy example i tend to compare what happened before with what is going on now. or i get ahead of myself and get lost in my own thoughts. i think it's something we all go through. i don't want to be over eager about how i feel, but i also want to feel. i want to play it cool, but not to cool. we are strange, and sometimes it feels good to honor that space of where that weirdness comes from.

it's not that i don't like laying out my cards i just feel like i already have played with this deck. what's making comparisons, scenarios and overanalyzing just about everything going to do for me? nothing really. while i think it's important to speak what is coming from the mind i find that it's important to really speak what's coming from the heart. the past really reflects what makes us stronger today. and thats the thing. it's today, not yesterday or the next. the only thing that matters is what going on right now.

i don't want to sound like i've been sad. it's just been another self realization boot camp i've put myself in. i lately i've been riding a lot of new waves of emotion. new people in my life, shifts i have to cover, feelings i obtain and the ones i have let go.

i want to move through this life with no guilt or shame of my past. i want to move through this life with no expectation of the future. i want to move through this life with my full attention to the morals i hold, the people i have made connections with and the really radical moments that unfold daily.

they don't have to be big. they can be though. i know what it feels like...

being warm under the blankets, high fives, big plates of vegan food, opening letters from friends, handholding, riding bikes at the tiniest hours of the morning, being lost in your own words while someone is listening, a glass of cold water before bed, making my dad laugh...

with all of that said, i truly am in a better place right now. i feel like i am strong enough to make decisions and move toward things i haven't tried before. i find comfort in the people around me and have healthy dialogue between them. i think that uncertainty just makes you go with the flow and to welcome each day as a new one. they are bigger issues in this world and i'm ready to speak for, act towards and tackle once again. there is a new breath of confidence. i feel really good about it. thanks for listening.

winter months

oranges and gt's trilogy kombucha

it's been a week. a long week. i've been shifting gears and changing schedules for my upcoming extensions program with my local yoga studio. i'm excited to be a part of the program and do the things i love (even more) and be around people who want to do the same.

there's been a lot of good around these parts these days. i think it's partly because i've been taking the right steps to having a healthier winter. if you know me, i'm the first to say i am not a big fan of winter. in the past, i've allowed winter to get the best of me. i have binged on unhealthy foods, was relatively inactive when it came to exercising and spent a lot of time in front of the computer or watching movies.

i knew that at the beginning of winter i didn't want to feel like that so i stayed committed, involved, and passionate about the things i love. and you must be saying easier said then done, and while thats true i have found that by simply just by setting an intention or having a mantra it will manifest somewhere throughout your day.

i am strong,

it's my intention to love who i am.

and with that and little bit of pushing yourself, winter (or any situation) is not as bad as it may seem. tiny problems or road blocks are magnified when you are unhappy/ unhealthy. that why it's important to incorporate proper foods, movement, communication in our lives. so we can enjoy the good things when they are in front of us. to love yourself and also to feel loved.

so often we allow ourselves to shut down or close our doors because we are vulnerable. no one wants to feel exposed. but by putting yourself out there and talking about things that make you feel that way will not only release tension that you have built up inside yourself, but it will allow you to be a more liberated person.

these are thoughts in my head right now. and now a yummy cooked meal that will get you through the winter months.

stir-fry kale with tempeh and pecans

1-2 tablespoon extra virgin coconut oil

1 medium sized shallot

3 cloves garlic

1 head kale (deveined and torn into tiny pieces)

1 package of tempeh (cubed)

1 tablespoon nama shoyu

1/3 cup halved pecans

1/2 teaspoon red chili flakes

pinch of pink himalayan sea salt

drizzle of raw agave nectar

heat the oil on medium in a large non-stick pan. saute shallots and garlic for about 2-3 minutes alone, and then add cubed tempeh and pecans. continue to keep stirring the contents of the pan until the tempeh becomes cooked through. I always taste test this!

then add kale, chili flakes, and salt. Cook thoroughly and then add nama shoyu and agave nectar. serve immediately and garnish with black pepper.

is winter hard for you? do you find that certain seasons are easier to maintain a lifestyle you're apart of?

communication

breakfast quinoa with raisins, pepitas, hemp seeds and blueberries

it's been eight days since the new year and already a lot of shifting has begun. i've noticed it already. it seems that simply externalizing your feelings to friends, loved ones, coworkers and most importantly yourself the world will materialize what you need and even sometimes what you want.

sprouted grain tortilla pizza

i was given a really awesome opportunity. on christmas eve, my friend passed on her grant she won at our local yoga studio to me, so i could continue my education as a yoga teacher. i couldn't believe it! i was unable to afford this particular program that i wanted to do this month with the holidays being so close, (not to mention i was still paying off tuition from the first training) so it was truly a shock when she came through my line and told me i was enrolled. the program will not only build upon my strengths and weaknesses, but allow me to meet with a mentor of my choice. it's an amazing feeling to have the support from the friends in your life.

music making

and with that said i had another realization. when i find myself lost, there are the little reminders in life that propel me in the right direction. it's easy to get caught up in the stress of life when your all tangled up inside. but truly it's the people that are willing to meet you halfway and listen. it's the days when it's the hardest to wake up and you push yourself to get up. it's that selfless giving and unconditional love that gives me energy to keep going. we aren't as insignificant as we think we are. we have purpose. i have purpose. the decisions we make are important. no matter how small or large your purpose is, it's there and you're here for a reason. ☺

now for a simple, yet delicious raw cookie recipe.

cinnamon almond cookies

(makes 6 servings)

1/2 cup almonds (soaked for at least 8 hours)

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup pitted medjool dates

1 teaspoon extra virgin coconut oil

1 teaspoon cinnamon powder

1 teaspoon raw agave nectar

pinch of pink himalayan sea salt

start by processing the almonds, cinnamon and salt alone. remove almond powder from food processor, and pulse dates, raisins, agave and coconut oil until you achieve a paste like consistency. combine the paste and powder and knead until well combined. shape into cookies and garnish with halved almonds.

- side note: i like to have a "crunch" when i make raw cookies so I process all of the ingredients together at once.

the little things

little seeds

i have found that the little things as subtle as they can be, are the most special moments in your day. you know, the things that make you day dream, or to pass the time. the things that make you weep even just a little, or make you laugh until you cry. it's the little things that find the biggest places in our heart.

it's pomegranate stains on your white shirt... a pint of peanut butter chocolate ice cream shared with one spoon.... the sound snow makes when it crunches with every step... or text messages with little smiley faces in them.

happy? new year

winter

after all of that intention setting, self realization and the want for happiness i realized something. i'm a little scared to loose the happiness i've cultivated. i hold on to so much expectation. in result of that the moment i'm in is lost because my thoughts are free radical. i'd like to say i focus inwards mainly, but a lot of it happens externally and that is all done because i see what i want in situations, people, places in time versus how am i contributing to situations, communicating to people that are a part of my life and the places i am in. it's interesting how we have our "expectations" and what our true reality is.

raw acai cashew, cacao coconut, spicy sesame and nutmeg cinnamon truffles.

life isn't easy, but no one said it would be. i have so much faith in the idea that our happiness is governed by choice. we choose the people we surround ourselves with. we choose the food we eat. we choose the jobs we go to everyday. no one put us here except ourselves. there are a few exceptions when nature unpredictably gives us something to deal with, but it's always our choice to adapt and move forward. thats life. sometimes its good sometimes it's bad, but finding yourself in the middle of it is what makes our lives so beautiful.

speer bike path

two days ago it snowed in colorado. although i'm not a big fan of snow, it has been really pretty to walk in and get cozy indoors. snow is a sign of opportunity so it's funny how it coincided with the new year approaching. i cried all night to be honest with you guys, but it was only because i released something that i was holding on to. recognizing your emotions is the first step to the healthier you. in 2011's quest for the better version of myself it's also my intention to find stillness and the genuine 100% authentic me.

"Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us."

- Nelson Mandela